fix(relay): gate command coordinate replacement by kind

[zerone0x]

Summary

• restrict command-event NIP-33 coordinate replacement to parameterized-replaceable kinds
• keep workflow triggers and approval grant/deny commands append-only even when they carry d tags
• distinguish exact event replays from stale/lost coordinate writes so same-second workflow definition ties reject instead of silently reporting duplicate success

Fixes #3468

Test plan

• cargo fmt --check
• cargo test -p buzz-relay command_executor::tests --lib (blocked in this environment: Rust build scripts fail because linker cc is not installed)